Men say 🚫 to relationships and marriage

 Single men, both young and old, are choosing NOT to enter into relationships…NOT because they don’t want to be with someone or because they’re broken or incapable of love…it’s because they’ve done the math.

These are the things I’ve heard from men about why they’re not committing…

If things go wrong in a marriage, they’re going to lose half of everything. Then, they have to pay for their ex-wife, in the form of child support, to take their children from them. 

 They’re responsible for half of all the costs of raising a child they only get to see a few times a month…or…if the ex moves to where it’s difficult to exercise their visitation rights, they see them seldom.

 AND If they get them for a prolonged period of time over the summer, they STILL have to pay child support to their ex AND pay all the expenses of having their child with them during the summer. 

In addition, in many states, men will end up paying alimony. Then, the divorce, and it’s ongoing costs and drama, also impacts future relationships men have…not to mention their future financial well-being. 

 Yet, their ex can remarry, have a career, have a husband that makes good money, and the ex husband is STILL responsible for paying child support every month…in essence, giving their ex a three income household.  

Can you see how men could look at this and say that’s not a risk I want to take??

Here’s the thing, it doesn’t matter WHOSE fault the divorce is, men are still going to have to deal with this. Men are saying hell no.

It really comes down to an analysis of the Return on Investment. Men, both young and old, are determining that a relationship with a woman simply isn’t worth the risk when 50% of all marriages end in divorce and 70 to 80% of all divorces are filed for by women.

The question becomes, how do we turn this around? Women are going to look at this and say it’s fair. Men are going to look at it and say it’s eminently unfair, because it punishes them for the divorce until their children are 18 and it benefits their ex until the kids are grown and the ex wife pays NO price for the divorce.

Now, I’m a strong proponent of men supporting their children after a divorce. But the laws have become financially punitive toward men, even when the divorce is not their fault. 

Can we really blame men for being commitment shy?? Divorce has become far too convenient, and most couples don’t put in the real effort to keep the relationship together. 

Is the return to the days BEFORE no-fault divorce the answer?? 

Or, do we continue to enable fatherlessness, the destruction of family, and the damage divorce visits on our children simply because two adults don’t like each other now??